Friday, February 3, 2012

The Problem with Saying Never

         I like to think that I know myself pretty well. I'm consider myself introspective and I don't lie to myself about my wants, needs and desires. I know what my strengths are and I'm acknowledge my weaknesses. I'm not incredibly sensitive that I can't take criticism, but I have a stubbornness that is sometimes without merit. With that being said, after 23 (almost 24) years of life and introspection, I've developed certain rules that I find necessary for my survival.
       There are preferences for every avenue of my life, including possible romantic entanglements. Now, I've said before that I'm an equal opportunity employer when it comes to racial and ethnic preferences, but I do have some absolute "NOs" in my little black book. In order of importance, they are:
  Height. I don't date short dudes. I'm 5'8 and I've been indoctrinated by society, pop culture, and chiefly, my mother to believe that it is not okay to date a man shorter than me. My preference is for gentlemen who are 6 foot and upwards (6'2 being the gold standard). I wear heels. I like heels. I like being tall. In a perfect world, I'd have two more inches added to my legs, so I don't need a man that's going to be insecure about our height difference. Or my mother scolding me for the rest of eternity.
        Age. It's not that I hate younger guys, it's just that I have a preference for older ones. I'm an old soul and I'm not looking for a youthful spirit to uplift me. I'd rather have an older man who can show me and teach me things. I want to be intellectually stimulated by my partner and although I do believe that a younger gent could accomplish that, he couldn't do that without me possessing resentment towards him for being smarter than me at a younger age. Tough Shit Young'in.
       Occupation. I don't particularly care what career path my boo takes, as long as he's passionate about his work. Sure, there are some positions that I consider ideal, architect and professor, but I'm not a stickler about it. What I want to make sure is that I never get involved with a fighter. I don't want to date the next Mike Tyson or Pretty Boy Floyd. I have no interest in watching my significant other get the shit pounded out of him, or have him send someone to the hospital because of his brutishness. I don't find it sexy when guys fight in a ring. Now, if he's defending my honor, then it's a different story, an erotic story. But mindless fighting is a turn off. I don't have the emotional makeup to watch on the sidelines and cheer my BF. The only options are that I start crying helplessly, or I feel an intense need to get in the ring and help my boo out. I'm ride or die bitches.
      Hair. I hate it, absolutely HATE it, when boys have that Bieber haircut. Now I know that the style existed pre-Justin, but I can't tolerate it. It's so stupid. I don't want my boyfriend to have bangs and constantly shake his head to get his hair out of his eyes. I want my man to look like a man and not a pre-pubescent girl, no matter how attractive that girl may be. This is last on the list, even though it's the thing I hate the most, because it can be easily remedied.
      Now, may I ask you, why am I crushing on a guy who possess all of theses NOs? Fuck My Life.

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