I went to dinner on Monday with some besties and it was your typical "What's going on in your life?" conversation. But it seems that the only thing that's going on in our lives is our current/current lack of a relationship. That's all we talked about. One of us just made it official with her latest beau, the other is starting again with an ex, and one of them just found out that her boo has a girlfriend. Scandalous, I know. Am I upset at the conversational climate of the hour? No. However, I do feel that we're setting ourselves up for failure. If all we can think of is the opposite sex, how do we get over a past lover? When you break up with someone, the last thing you want to do is constantly think about them. Yet that always seems to be what happens. You end up actively thinking about not actively thinking about them. It might be true that the only cure for an old love is a new one; but couldn't we change that.
I have a new crush and I'm all giddy about it. It's funny because I don't necessarily have a type. My main goals are someone smart and tall (if he's got four eyes that's a bonus. A sexy bonus), but my new crush is totally not my typical. I'm sure he's smart and all that good shit, but really he's just really hot and he's got an accent. Swoon (also I should note that I don't find any accent particularly attractive, but I find that people who are good-looking with an accent, happen to be more attractive than those without. It's very similar to my glasses obsession). I've now spent the first half of my day, counting the minutes until I get to see him. And when he does arrive, I'm focusing on my posture and making sure I have nothing in my teeth. How did I get so boy crazy? What did I do with my day before he entered my thoughts?
A couple of weeks ago, Melissa posted on her status "there's got to be more than drinking". Is there? All my recreational activities center around an alcoholic beverage. Meeting up with long lost friends? Unlimited mimosa brunch. Need to unwind after a horrible work week? Happy hour in midtown. Epic birthday party? Nightclub with bottle service. And why the need for drinks? I think it's because we are perusing the single (and not so single) scene. We're the generation of multi-taskers and in this day and age, you need to be committed to finding a partner. It's not something you can take lightly . There aren't men flocking at your feet that fulfill all nine of your marriage requirements. We also aren't the generation that settles (i.e. Occupy Wall Street), so that guy that comes along and is gorgeous, funny, smart, loves his mom, but happens to be 5'6, he's not cutting it. I just want to know when did we become so boy-obsessed?
After you've found "the one", what happens to all that energy? Do you lose it all or do you just concentrate on your new found love? Is that even possible? I've heard that you the passion dies with older couples (and by older, I mean after the first two years of marriage, or the arrival of children). Maybe that's where your energy turns; ensuring that the lust and love is still present. I would much rather spend my time dancing and drinking all night in the pursuit of the mythical perfect man, that try every day for the rest of my life to make my marriage work. It sounds hard. It sounds like work.
I'm sure there are good things that come with marriage, like sense of security, finding your soul mate and all that shit. I'm down for that. I just want to know that regardless of my relationship status, I'll be able to enjoy my life. I also don't want to be the "single" friend, while all my friends are married and having babies. That means I'll have to get new friends and they're hard to break in.