A couple months ago, I sent my friends an article entitled "You Should Date an Illiterate Girl". It's a sarcastic approach on the pitfalls of dating a woman without an iota of intellect or a personality. Similarly, John Waters has a famous quote about bedding the opposite sex: “If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!” Those are my sentiments exactly. When people list their criterion for their future partner, they fail to include anything about what makes that person tick. Typically we hear things about circumstantial choices, such as height, coloring, career, and finances. I definitely believe that these are things that should be included on "the list", but their placement on my said list may shock you.
I care very little for a man's ethnic, racial, or tribe affiliation. I'm an equal opportunity employer when it comes to that issue. Growing up in NYC, I was always very intrigued to learn about one's culture, and I discovered that instead of being very different, we're all more the same. Now, I'm not about to break out into a "We Are The World" rendition, but it should be noted that ethnic variety is the spice of life.
Nor does someone's finances concern me much. I actually shy away from men that are rich. I believe there are only two types of rich men: the ones that were born rich and the new-money rich. People that were born rich and inherited their careers have no concept of how life is outside of the pillars of wealth. That kind of ignorance is hard for me to overlook. You can't teach compassion. On the flip side, those who have achieved success by their own merits, have a hunger and ambition that I find sexy, but in the long run, I know that it won't work. I'm super ambitious and hungry and I know the personality type that comes with it. Fights with no end and a lack of an ability to apologize does not bode well for a long-term relationship.
What is important to me is intelligence. If I was wart-nosed witch, stirring my ideal-mate brew, a giant portion would be "acumen of owl" or whatever happens to be the smartest jungle animal. I want someone to stimulate me cerebrally and have great conversations with them. I don't think I can do that with a scarecrow (please tell me that you get the Wizard of Oz reference). I also want to laugh for the majority of my life and while the pratfalls of Chris Farley may be slightly amusing, I prefer the political stylings of a Stephen Colbert. Plus Louis C.K. but I just love a good, dirty dick joke.
When youth has been dried from your bones and the crow's feet have made a playground out of your face, you're not going to care whether you married a schoolteacher or golf pro. You'll be more concerned that he you can stand to be in the same room as him and that he makes you happy. And that he's tall. Sorry, I'm just a tad bit vain. I can't be walking around with a hobbit. I want a giant philosopher.