art for art's sake...

   About a week ago, I went to go see my dollface Jess V. perform. She's been mia for the past few months because of dance rehearsal and we've been giving her a ton of shit for it. Finally the moment came, when we would be able to see whether her decision to stop drinking with us and practice was a wise one. First of all, let me tell you homegirl is talented. Not like, I'm your mother and so I have to pretend to be supportive instead of telling you what you will soon learn from an obnoxious middle school teacher. No, Jess is TALENTED. Her performance was thrilling and captivating. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I'm not usually impressed by dance and even with the renewed interest in the art form thanks to Black Swan, I haven't been that gung ho to book tickets for Swan Lake. I'm definitely more intrigued by film and classical music. But seeing Jess perform stirred something in me. Yes her leg extensions were beautiful, as were her leaps and bends. Yet that wasn't what moved me.
   Seeing Jess do something she's so passionate about made it hard for me to breathe. It was like watching two people fall in love. It was so intimate and overwhelming. I felt like I should cover my eyes but I couldn't look away. It's so inspiring to see someone expressing themselves with stark vulnerability. I couldn't help it but to cry. And I'm the bitch that doesn't even cry at The Notebook.
      Not only did her performance move me emotionally, but it also moved me mentally. It gave me the push to conquer my passions. Jess works as some sort of advertising/social media wizard, spending more than 50 hours a week at her office, tweeting or twitting things at me. After an exhausting day behind a computer, she will rush off to dance practice for four hours and then somehow manages to come out for drinks with belligerent friends at 2am. Straight up wizard!
        If Jess can manage to do that, then I can make moves to start my career. I know I've exhausted my allowance for being a bum. Its been a year since graduation and I don't really feel like I've accomplished anything. I was trying to avoid growing up but Jess gave me the kick in the ass and in the span of the week, I've quit my cushy gig at DailyCandy and by summer's end I'll be done with my NYU gig. I'm removing the safety cushion from under my feet (or ass?) and I'm flying head first into the unknown. I told my bestie Joy my plan and she called it brave. I'm not brave, I'm just too young to be unhappy and not do anything about it. Maybe I'll be poor, but I have already reserved several couches as contingency plans. All I know is that I want to make people cry. And not by cyberbullying.