Tuesday, December 28, 2010

watching the ball drop

We are vastly approaching a new year and I'm going through the typical motions of deciding plans for new years and picking out outfits. After last night's blizzard, it looks like I'm going to be home-bound and snugged up tight with my hot chocolate and watching Dustin Hoffman movies (Totally just watched a marathon of Kramer Vs Kramer and Tootsie!). Even though I might not be partying it up until the ball drops, I have been thinking a lot about this upcoming year. Even though 2010 was filled with momentuous occassions, including graduating college, I feel that 2011 is going to be EPIC. Don't ask me why, it's just a feeling I have. Now I've probably already cursed myself and 2011 will most likely be a year I wish to erase from facebook, but I remain optimistic nonetheless.
          Traditionally I don't make resolutions. I don't believe in waiting for a new year to better myself and I don't like the sense of defeat that takes over when I don't achieve my goals. However, I am adopting a certain motto that I believe is going to exemplify the year: GO HARD! I want to go hard at everything I do in the upcoming  year. Regardless of what the task, I want to make sure I get exactly what I want out of it. This is the year where I start making progress in my life, and not just in my career. I want every aspect of my life to blossom. I want to be more culturally advanced and experience things I've never done before. I want to meet people that I wouldn't typically meet. I want take charge and make strides. I want it all in 2011. Will I get there? Maybe not in the full course of a year, but I will further along that  yellow brick road and see the neon emerald lights in the distance.
        I've spent so much of my short life anticipating this "time". I would always say "wait till I finish college". I got through so many of life's hiccups because I knew once I was 22, I would be able to live. Now almost 23  years old, I'm realizing that the idea of living terrifies me. It might possibly not be the idea of living, but the possibility of failure. I've spent so much time imagining my life from this moment onward, that the thought that I won't make it, rattles my weak bones and freezes me in place.
       But with 2011, I'm going to Go Hard and accept all the setbacks and  mishaps with open arms because with their arrival also comes knowledge and the understanding that at least I tried. So fuck it if I don't get the job of my dreams, at least I made enough contacts to get me there someday. And I'm not going to put all my energy solely into my career as I've done in the past. I'm going experience everything, good and bad. So while everyone is shitfaced, blowing streamers, watching the ball drop and anticipating their hangovers and bloodshot eyes that are bound to come the following morning, I'll be tucked in bed, getting a good night's sleep. I have a big year ahead of me and I intend to be prepared.


  1. im proud of you already for putting this into words :)

    and agreed with above comment